“Don’t allow your desire for comfort to assuage you from living radically for Jesus in this world...if you feel a little fear, that’s a good sign you are on the right track.”

This comforting quote was in my devotional this week. This process has been faith-building for me. I used to believe that if I didn’t feel a “peace” about something right away, it must not be the right decision. This lack of peace caused months of anxiety looking at the files of dozens of children hoping one had less severe needs than Cyrus’. I didn’t think we could do a wheelchair-bound child. A child who would never walk or talk was not on my radar. Changing diapers for the rest of my life did not sound appealing. But the longer we prayed about it, the more we felt this was the direction we were supposed to go, regardless of feeling “peace” and quite frankly, being scared to death of the idea of it all. It was only after saying a feeble “yes” to adopting Cyrus that peace began to come. I no longer believe that having fear or a lack of peace about something means it isn’t the right thing to do. After all, being brave does not mean being unafraid- it means doing it anyway! So, we’re doing it anyway.

In just about 2-3 weeks, we’ll be “meeting” Cyrus for the first time. Bulgaria is typically a 2 trip country to complete an adoption, but due to Covid, they have made the first “bonding trip” virtual. We’re preparing our list of questions and our hearts for what we might see, and we have no idea what to really expect. The most recent photo we have of him was from 18 months ago, so we don’t even know what he looks like now. Since we have the official approval to adopt him, we have been able to find out where he’s been living the past 5 years, here:

in a town on the border of Turkey and Greece that is one of the oldest settlements in all of Bulgaria. Some of the orphanages in Bulgaria are trying to shut down and put the children into more of a “group home” setting and even foster care to give them a more family-like atmosphere. Even these group homes, however, are no substitute for the love of a family, as this short film demonstrates:

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The documentary series I shared in the last post revealed the appalling conditions of many of the orphanages across the country and some reforms were made because of it. Cyrus’s orphanage is one that is trying to shut down. It is a huge, old dilapidated building that once housed many children...but only 13 of them remain. The healthier children were moved out into group homes and foster care, and the children with more severe medical needs were left there, sadly because there was nowhere else to put them. There are only two rooms of the orphanage now in operation, and a few rotating staff members. The children left are mostly crib-bound. It’s not a stretch to say that Cyrus hasn’t been outside much, and he hasn’t ever seen the sunshine or felt the fresh air on his face except for the few times he’s been to the hospital for tests and treatment. He’s led a solitary life of mostly staring at white walls and playing with his hands. We received a recent medical update that Cyrus was hospitalized for 4 days in July for weight loss and vomiting, and his weight was already only 23 pounds at the age of 5, so he had no weight to lose.

Cyrus’s main diagnosis is cerebral palsy. This is a general diagnosis given to many of the children when the minimal testing done has not revealed any other obvious reason for their delays and medical problems. It’s likely this is accurate for him, however, as he has some clear markers for this condition. We paid for the services of an International Adoption Clinic specialist in Seattle to review his file and discuss with us what to expect, what tests he will need, and what much of his confusing medical diagnoses mean. He has an undiagnosed genetic syndrome that we will need to investigate at some point which may explain a lot of his symptoms and other conditions. Many of the children from this country also have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, though we don’t believe he has this judging from his facial characteristics and file. We are most concerned about the fact that he has a “profound” mental delay, and frequent “neurogenic vomiting” and lack of any weight gain since April of 2019. We are expecting that he will initially need a feeding tube to help him catch up and meet the nutritional deficit he’s suffered. We have had both doctors who’ve reviewed his file support a medical expedite to get him home quickly due to his failure to thrive there. Typically there are about 4-6 months in between “trip 1” and “trip 2” to pick them up, but nothing about this year has been typical, so all we can do is hope he will be home by April, since we are set to move this summer!

And the good news is that we are fully funded! We had a $3,000 matching grant, and the goal was very quickly met by just a few faithful friends. One friend blessed us beyond belief and allowed us to not have to do months of fundraising. We are so thankful to have this burden lifted! It’s one thing about this adoption that we do not have to worry about now. Thank you for helping us meet this goal in less than a week of fundraising!